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September 26, 2012

Living with Uncertainty; Life Does Not Come Complete with a Bow


I should be used to a life that is somewhat unsettled. I should be at peace with knowing that change is coming but not knowing in what form. I should be comfortable with not having everything in my life planned out. Through the years my husband, Gary, and I have walked through countless reorganizations, acquisitions, and mergers in his employment as a mortgage banker. Unsettled has often been the feeling of our 25 years of marriage.

Lately these feelings have escalated even more as Gary and I face a cross country move after living in our current home in Charlotte, North Carolina for 14 years. Or do we? Every day I, and sometimes Gary, have different feelings about whether this move will actually take place.  Gary started working in Buffalo NY in June. He is currently commuting back and forth each week with the plan that once our house sells we will relocate to Buffalo.                                                      

Daily I talk to Gary about how his day is going. Some days it is going so badly and the information seems so dire that I start to question our plan for the future. Does this company have a culture that is healthy? Do I want him in a job that is so stressful? More importantly is this move in God's will? Other days the news is better and I feel more optimistic after our conversation. At these times I begin to believe yes, we are in fact moving to Buffalo.

The problem is day to day my feelings change and the result is a huge cloud of "unsettled" is following me around. I find myself complaining to God "Why is my life not wrapped up in a bow like other people's lives seem to be? This is so hard. I want to know the direction our life together is going to take."

Thankfully, as always, God is gracious.  He takes my bad attitude and my questions and gives me answers and hope. As I listen to the truths found in God's word, I find peace in the midst of my unsettled life.

“ 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' ”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5)

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'  "(Isaiah 30:21)

"Thus says the Lord, Your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you by the way you should go.' "(Isaiah 48:17)

"The Lord will guide you continually …” (Isaiah 58:11)

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord … ”(Psalm 37:23)  

This is only a small sample of scriptures that speak to trusting God during uncertain times. They teach us not only to allow God to lead us in the way we should go but also to allow him to determine the speed of the journey. In our world of instant gratification, God's timing often feels painfully slow.

Daily I can look to these scriptures to remind me God is in control and he has a plan for my life. Surely this knowledge will strengthen me to endure this unsettled season until God is ready to reveal his plan for our lives.